Sweet 18th

แจสมิน สุขสันต์วันเกิด ครบ 18 ปีนะ
Happy 18^th Birthday Jasmine! 

I could not believe you are now 18^th! 

As a mom, it just can’t help to see the 5 years old in the 18^th.  As you are becoming adulthood, it is also the time for me to adjust myself as well.  While I am trying to treat you as an adult, it might happen that I still treat you as a kid, but I hope you will understand me as it is not easy for me to just change in one day. I will keep trying. Just two things will never change is I love you so much and I believe in you.

I need to also learn what 18 years old can do now.  I read from this website.
50 Things You Can Legally Do When You Turn 18 (grownandflown.com)

OMG, I am not used to several of the 50 things below but I believe in you and I believe you will make good decisions for yourself regardless of what the legal paper says.

Love you always!
Mom 😊 

What teens can do when they turn 18:

1. Vote (you probably knew that one)

2. Join the Military

3. Register for  the Selective Service (mandatory for males)

4. Buy a lottery ticket

5. Have an alcoholic drink in most places outside of the US

6. Get a body piercing or tattoo without parental consent

7. Buy a pet

8. Sign a contract

9. Change their name

10. Open a brokerage account and buy stock

11. Use a meat/deli slicer at a grocery store job

12. Book a hotel room

13. Become a realtor

14. Become a notary public

15. Enter an adults-only store

16. Skydive

17. Give consent for their own vaccines

18. Work in a bar and serve drinks

19. Sign themselves out of high school

20. Be called for jury duty

21. Open a bank account

22. Have sex legally with someone over 18

23. Get married without parental permission

24. Get a 10 year Passport

25. Get a Costco card

26. Buy real estate or apply for a mortgage

27. Apply to find their biological parents if they are adopted

28. Drive a taxi

29. Get a license to drive a truck

30. Be the only one home when a service repair person needs to enter the home.

31. Go to the ER alone and get treatment

32. Work full time in the school year

33. Register to give blood or be an organ donor

34. Apply for credit cards

35. File a lawsuit

36. Adopt a child   

37. Create a will

38. Buy a car

39. Rent an apartment

40. Buy pornography

42. Sue someone

43. Pawn your belongings

44. Buy spray paint

45. Bet on a horse race

46. Buy cough suppressants

47. Rent Airbnb

48. Use a ride sharing scooter like Bird or Lime

49. Consent to their own medical care

50. Move out of their parents’ home.

A Friend from Tennessee

I did not expect to meet someone who knew a little bit of Thai language.  But I met this friend “Khun D” from TN. My new friend is quite interesting with personality that I found very challenging.  

The first standout characteristic popping up in my head is he is very spontaneous and unplanned.  I first met him in person 2 days before my birthday in 2022. That was also an unplanned arrangement to see each other as he thought I should not be left alone celebrating my BD by myself. He also did several of surprised visits to his parents, relatives, and friends including me.  He showed up at my house as a SURPRISE couple days before Christmas in 2022.

The second characteristic of my TN friend is he cares for others, and he wants to reach out and helps everyone if he can.  He never stops his support to his parents, children, relatives, friends in and outside the USA, and people who are in trouble.

The third characteristic is he is always thinking. His brain seems to be filled up and unrest all the time.  One example is while driving, he wanted the best route until last minute of the turn to either route A or route B.  LoL, I will just pick one and stick with it and I care less if it will take 5 minutes longer. Another sample is when an undesirable thing pops up in his mind, he will get occupied with the thought and he will not let it go until it is being taken care of.  During that time, nothing gets his attention at all.

Derived from the third characteristic, maybe I would say he seems to be indecisive and sometimes he contradicts his own thoughts or appears to have contradiction between his own thought and action. 

The fourth characteristic is he enjoys deep concepts.  This also shows in the movies he likes like Blade Runner 2049, the documentaries like UFO and such. He told me about the theory of A 432 Hz (or 435 Hz?) versus A 440 Hz which I never knew about but now when I look up online, there are many articles about this and even related to conspiracy theory behind the use of A 440 Hz.  

Due to his fourth characteristic, he also holds the fifth characteristic which is being open minded to other cultures, beliefs, and religions. He feels relaxed with Zen music. He used to go to Buddhist temples, and he gave me a famous monk amulet, Luang Pu Thuod.

The sixth characteristic is he keeps achieving “Excellence.”  His website design, illustrations for his mother’s book, his music, and all things have been the result of excellence in his mind.

The seventh characteristic that might also derived from being excellent is he is very neat. His stuff after being used always go back to where they are.  He does not need lots of belongings in his house, and his house is clutter free. 

The seventh characteristic is he spends money wisely. He does not have the kind of extravaganza lifestyle. He can be down to earth but at the same time, he can also mingle up with the super-rich.

The eight characteristic is he can easily make new friends with anyone and anywhere he goes. Also, one thing I notice is he calls every girl he meets “sweetie”.   LoL So, when he calls me “sweetie”, it does not actually mean anything special. (My cousin also calls everyone “honey”)

The ninth characteristic is he prefers solitary life.  He might on and off enjoy having a companion but living under the same roof till death do us part, um, he will not be able to have a commitment on that route, maybe forever.  

 

Year End Retreat at Wat Phramahajanaka

On this New Year Eve, I had a quiet time reflecting myself in the year 2022. I also went to Wat Phramahajanaka in the afternoon with lots of flowers for 7 vases to worship 4 Buddha statues, Guan Yin (Goddess of Mercy), Ganesh, and Mother Earth Goddess. 

Pra Ajahn Songkran and Pra Ajahn Tinnakorn were the 2 monks there while Pra Ajahn Pasan was still in Thailand for ฺฺBuddha Opening the World statue project.  From 6:00 p.m. on New Year Eve until 12:15 a.m. on New Year Day, we chanted, listened to Dhamma, and discussed Dhamma with short breaks in between.  I went to bed around 1:00 a.m. and got up at 5:30 a.m. to participate in morning chanting.  Then, around 7:30, we offered food to both ajahns and later, I joined others for breakfast. After that, I had Dhamma discussion with Pra Ajahn Songkran.  Pra Ajahn Songkran memorizes lots of Buddha stories which he always refers to while preaching us. 

One thing worth to note here is the MUST chanted hymn for New Year "Itipiso" which needs to be chanted for 108 times.  Why 108 times?  I will find out later on. 

Takeaways to remember:

1. Feelings and mindfulness are different.  
One should use mindfulness to understand one's feelings which then will help one not to get occupied with the feelings such as physical pain, sadness, or anger.  Always practice observing your feelings with mindfulness. This will help you to not accidentally deep dive into your undesirable or desirable feelings such that your energy gets burned out and you feel empty and lost.  

2. Doing duty and not doing for others. This helps to not create expectations to others.
For example, you perform duty as a parent by paying for your child's education, but you do not think that you are paying this $$$ amount of money for your child, so, your child should make sure to behave and aim for A grade.  So, if you need to perform duty, then, do it without setting expectation, but you still can provide suggestion as needed.

3. Appreciate, feel thankful and forgive your parents, your life partner, your sons and daughters, your siblings, your friends, people causing trouble in your life, others, animals, and at last "yourself".

4. Life partner with similar 4 characteristics, morality, faith, generosity, and wisdom
Couple who can endure their lifetime together always have similarity in these 4 characteristics: morality, faith, generosity, and wisdom. Keep this in mind for yourself and teach your children the same.