Last year, during a short discussion at work, a colleague did not try to understand my points step by step. Just in the middle of the discussion, he said something like "This is wasting my time.", not just once but many times. Then, I burst out "If this is wasting your time. It is wasting my time too." blah blah After that, I tried to calm down and realized I should have been in control more. The discussion was over soon after that and I gave my colleague a sorry hug. I asked him never ever again say "this is wasting my time." as any discussion is meant to find a solution, so, it does not waste anyone's time. He also said sorry to me and we discussed how we should do better next time.
Since then, I have been trying to find the way to control myself not to burst out like that again.
Finally, the trip to Wat Phramahajanaka gave me the answer. Mindfulness.
I started to practice being mindful or being aware of what I am doing all day. It is not easy as sometimes the awareness is not always with me. At night I also started to pray and meditate. Close my eyes, clear up my mind, observe my breath, in and out,... Just 5 minutes of meditation. Together with day time and night time practice, it really helps me to become a better person.
At a short discussion at work this week, the same colleague disagreed (again) with my approach which everyone thought should be right. This time, I could calm down and offer a different approach that worked out for everyone including him. My conscience told me "No Anger. No Burst Out. Calm Down. Find Solution."
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