Dealing With Difficult People
Feb 21, 2019
As a human being living in the world, one has no choice but living with others whom one needs to interact with daily. I am no exception. Half year ago, I changed my job within the same company. Because of this, I needed to work with someone I found very difficult to work with. Let's call this person Mr. A.
After a month working with Mr. A, I realized what made it hard for both me and him to work together. Three years ago, we used to work in the same team. Once we disagreed with each other in one of our meetings. As he raised his voice, so, I raised my voice back. So, it was not a fruitful disagreement. (You know disagreement is not always bad. It is how you react when you disagree that can be bad.) Since then, we seemed to have bias against each other. Coming back to work with each other again, I have already changed. I have been practicing mindfulness, having self awareness, meditation and such. I have no more bias against him. But well, I cannot just go tell him, hey, I changed.
After a month working with Mr, A, I learned how to approach him better. When he said something I disagreed but there was no benefit of arguing with him, then, I accepted what he said. But if I thought it would be more benefit to our work with my idea, then, I put myself together first and tried to compose the right and nice words in my head before expressing my idea to him. When I reviewed his recorded knowledge sharing sessions and I found very useful, I wrote an email to him and our manager how useful his recorded sessions were. I asked for his help from time to time and never once forgot to thank him.
After a month working with Mr. A, I also prayed for him in my mind when I saw him daily. My mind chanted "Met-taa Khun-nung A-ra-hung Met-taa" (เมตตาคุณณัง อะระหัง เมตตา) Met-taa means kindness, mercy and probably love as well. A-ra-hung means one who is far from passions like greed and anger. So, putting them together, it means one who is far from passions is being kind and loves you.
After two months working with Mr. A, his negative feeling towards me seemed to be less and less. We worked together much better. These days, there are still bumpy and rocky moments while we work together but I still continue my way of treating him. I realize now that it is myself who feel happy as I could let it go and never hold any grudge against him.
Credit:
"เมตตาคุณณัง อะระหัง เมตตา" พระคาถาเมตตามหานิยมของ สมเด็จโต พรหมรังสี
https://www.tnews.co.th/contents/423811
Ann P. in NY who introduced me to "Met-taa Khun-nung A-ra-hung Met-taa".
Friday, February 22, 2019
Sunday, February 17, 2019
อิติปิโส
Feb 17, 2019
บทสวดอิติปิโส
คนเราส่วนมากพอพูดถึงบทสวดอิติปิโส ก็จะอ๋อทันที บทสวดอิติปิโส มีสามส่วน คือ บทสวดพระพุทธคุณ บทสวดพระธรรมคุณ และบทสวดพระสังฆคุณ เคยสงสัยเหมือนกันว่า เอ ความหมายเป็นไทย แปลว่าอะไร และอีกเช่นกัน อากู๋ตอบได้ทุกอย่าง
วันนี้หลวงพ่อท่านบอกว่า บทสวดอิติปิโส คือพุทธพจน์ หรือ พุทธวจนะ (บาลี: พุทฺธวจน) แปลว่า พระดำรัสหรือคำพูดของพระพุทธเจ้า
เราเลยสงสัย อ้าวทำไมพระพุทธเจ้าท่านถึงต้องสรรเสริญพระพุทธเจ้า ด้วยตัวพระองค์เอง
และนี่คือคำตอบ
บทสวดอิติปิโส
คนเราส่วนมากพอพูดถึงบทสวดอิติปิโส ก็จะอ๋อทันที บทสวดอิติปิโส มีสามส่วน คือ บทสวดพระพุทธคุณ บทสวดพระธรรมคุณ และบทสวดพระสังฆคุณ เคยสงสัยเหมือนกันว่า เอ ความหมายเป็นไทย แปลว่าอะไร และอีกเช่นกัน อากู๋ตอบได้ทุกอย่าง
วันนี้หลวงพ่อท่านบอกว่า บทสวดอิติปิโส คือพุทธพจน์ หรือ พุทธวจนะ (บาลี: พุทฺธวจน) แปลว่า พระดำรัสหรือคำพูดของพระพุทธเจ้า
เราเลยสงสัย อ้าวทำไมพระพุทธเจ้าท่านถึงต้องสรรเสริญพระพุทธเจ้า ด้วยตัวพระองค์เอง
และนี่คือคำตอบ
ที่มาของบทสวด อิติปิ โส
สมัยโบราณผู้คนจะร่ําลือถึงพระศาสดาที่ตนนับถือตลอดไป จนกระทั้ง ธรรมะของพระองค์ รวมทั้งคุณลักษณะของผู้เป็นสาวกแห่งองค์ท่าน เพื่อที่จะให้กิตติศัพท์เป็นที่กล่าวขวัญขจรขจายตรงกัน ไม่ใช่พูดอย้่างโน้นทีอย่างนี้ทีกันตามอําเภอใจของแต่ละคน แบบเห็นไม่ครบ รู้ไม่จริง หรือขาดๆ เกินๆ ด้วยประการใด ก็จําเป็นที่องค์ศาสดา ต้องเป็นผู้ตรัสนําด้วยพระองค์เองก่อน
ดังเช่น เมื่อพระพุทธองค์ตรัสตอบ พระเจ้าอชาตศัตรู ซึ่งมีที่มาใน “สามัญญผลสูตร” ว่าถ้าทําตามคําสอนของพระพุทธเจ้าแล้วจะได้อะไร? หรืออีกนัยคือพระองค์เองมีดีอยางไร? จะให้แก่เหล่าสาวก ท่านก็จาระไนคุณลักษณะสามัญแห่งความเป็นพระพุทธเจ้า ไม่ว่าอดีตหรือปัจจุบัน ซึ่งเหมือนๆกันทุกพระองค์อย่างละเอียด ก่อนจะแสดงถึงผลที่สาวกปฏิบัติได้กันเป็นปกติ
Credit https://www.chonburipost.com/%E0%B8%AD%E0%B8%B4%E0%B8%95%E0%B8%B4%E0%B8%9B%E0%B8%B4%E0%B9%82%E0%B8%AA-%E0%B8%84%E0%B8%A5%E0%B8%B2%E0%B8%A2%E0%B9%80%E0%B8%84%E0%B8%A3%E0%B8%B5%E0%B8%A2%E0%B8%94/
ธัมมจักกัปปวัตนสูตร
ธัมมจักกัปปวัตนสูตร
February 17, 2019
วันนี้ ได้มีโอกาสสวดธัมมจักกัปปวัตนสูตร ปกติแล้ว ตอนสวดมนต์ที่บ้านไม่เคยสวดบทนี้เลย ปีนี้เป็นปีที่สามที่ได้สวดบทนี้ และเช่นเคย คือสวดที่วัดเนื่องในวันมาฆบูชา (ปีนี้ตรงกับวันที่ 19 กุมภาพันธ์ แต่วัดที่นี่จะจัดงานตรงวันอาทิตย์ เพื่อให้ชาวบ้านนอกอย่างเรา ที่ไม่หยุดเหมือนเมืองไทย ได้มีโอกาสมาทำบุญที่วัด)
เมื่อก่อนไม่เคยรู้เลย บทสวดนี้มีความหมายยังไง ถ้าเคยได้เรียนมาตอนเด็กๆ ก็ต้องบอกว่าไม่เคยสนใจจะรู้ และท่องจำเพื่อสอบ เสร็จแล้วก็ลืม สามปีที่แล้วพอได้สวด หลวงพ่อท่านอธิบาย พอกลับบ้านก็เลยมาถามอากู๋
กล่าวโดยสรุป ธัมมจักกัปปวัตนสูตร แสดงถึง
- ส่วนที่สุดสองอย่าง ที่พระพุทธศาสนาปฏิเสธ อันได้แก่ "กามสุขัลลิกานุโยค" คือการหมกมุ่นอยู่ในกามสุข และ "อัตตกิลมถานุโยค" คือการทรมานตนให้ลำบากโดยเปล่าประโยชน์หรือทุกรกิริยา "คือการกระทำกิจที่ทำได้โดยยาก" คือ การอดอาหาร
- อริยสัจสี่ คือธรรมที่เป็นความจริงอันประเสริฐสี่ประการ
- ทุกข์
- สมุทัย
- นิโรธ
- มรรค (มรรคมีองค์แปด)
- มัชฌิมาปฏิปทา คือปฏิปทาทางสายกลางที่พระพุทธองค์ได้ทรงตรัสรู้ ได้แก่ มรรคมีองค์แปด
- ปัญญาเห็นชอบ (สัมมาทิฏฐิ)
- ความดำริชอบ (สัมมาสังกัปปะ)
- เจรจาชอบ (สัมมาวาจา)
- การงานชอบ (สัมมากัมมันตะ)
- เลี้ยงชีวิตชอบ (สัมมาอาชีวะ)
- พยายามชอบ (สัมมาวายามะ)
- ระลึกชอบ (สัมมาสติ)
- ตั้งจิตชอบ (สัมมาสมาธิ)
Thursday, February 14, 2019
Valentine with Valentime
Today is Valentine's Day Feb 14th, 2019.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Wow, I have not written anything in my blog for almost 2 years already.
Today, I am not going to write about what else I have done to be a better person. Just would like to share something fun from the radio I listened to yesterday.
The radio host asked listeners to call in and tell him "What words people say and make you feel kind of annoyed or funny." For him, the word was "Valentine's Day" as he said he heard many people pronounced "Valentime's Day", you see the "m" there.
Here are a few words mentioned in his show:
1. Valentine - why call it "Valentime"
2. Iran - it is not "ai-ran"
3. Iraq - it is not "ai-raq"
4. Irregardless - this is not a word at all
5. Nuclear - pls it is not nukular as the former president Bush said
6. Vacuum
7. Guitar
Too bad I needed to step out from my car to buy grocery so, I missed lots of fun and many more words.
Coming back home that day, when thinking about that, I could think about couple words that people pronounce them their own way as they do not know exactly how native speakers say those words.
Here are a couple of them:
1. Huawei - Americans pronounce this word in many ways; วาเว ว๊าเหว่ with the leading H sound that almost cannot hear. I have to ask my Chinese friend to teach me how to say it right.
2. Netflix - I believe people here say เนทฟลิกซ์ but a YouTube show host in Thailand says เหน็ดฟลิกซ์ This sounds funny to me. You know เหน็ด and เนท are not the same.
3. IKEA - Americans say "ai-kea". Swedish, the home country of IKEA say อิเกีย
4. Amazon - Americans say เอมาซอน but Thai people say อะ เม ซอน
5. Vicks Vaporub - instead of เวเปอรับ, Thai people say วาเปอรับ
What else you can think about? Please share the fun.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Wow, I have not written anything in my blog for almost 2 years already.
Today, I am not going to write about what else I have done to be a better person. Just would like to share something fun from the radio I listened to yesterday.
The radio host asked listeners to call in and tell him "What words people say and make you feel kind of annoyed or funny." For him, the word was "Valentine's Day" as he said he heard many people pronounced "Valentime's Day", you see the "m" there.
Here are a few words mentioned in his show:
1. Valentine - why call it "Valentime"
2. Iran - it is not "ai-ran"
3. Iraq - it is not "ai-raq"
4. Irregardless - this is not a word at all
5. Nuclear - pls it is not nukular as the former president Bush said
6. Vacuum
7. Guitar
Too bad I needed to step out from my car to buy grocery so, I missed lots of fun and many more words.
Coming back home that day, when thinking about that, I could think about couple words that people pronounce them their own way as they do not know exactly how native speakers say those words.
Here are a couple of them:
1. Huawei - Americans pronounce this word in many ways; วาเว ว๊าเหว่ with the leading H sound that almost cannot hear. I have to ask my Chinese friend to teach me how to say it right.
2. Netflix - I believe people here say เนทฟลิกซ์ but a YouTube show host in Thailand says เหน็ดฟลิกซ์ This sounds funny to me. You know เหน็ด and เนท are not the same.
3. IKEA - Americans say "ai-kea". Swedish, the home country of IKEA say อิเกีย
4. Amazon - Americans say เอมาซอน but Thai people say อะ เม ซอน
5. Vicks Vaporub - instead of เวเปอรับ, Thai people say วาเปอรับ
What else you can think about? Please share the fun.
Sunday, February 12, 2017
The Best Gift
Why "Middle Path seeker" ?
Well, today I am not going to answer why. I am going to tell you another thing I learned at my last visit to the temple.
Have you ever wonder what is the best gift from you to your parents?
Recently, there was a big news about Atlanta City Hall bribery scandal. Imagine you were the parent of the contractor who bribed your clients to win the contract. You knew your kid had been such a darling to all family members, had been a successful business man, paid for your house, and had a great family of his own. But once you discovered what he had done behind everyone's back, how would you feel?
Now imagine you were the parent of the City Hall official accepting the bribe. You knew your kid had been such a darling to all family members, had been a successful government official, paid for your house, and had a great family of his own. But once you discovered what he had done behind everyone's back, how would you feel?
Here are 5 simple daily training rules Buddhists call the Five Precepts that we all can practice to become a better person.
1, Do not kill
2. Do not steal
3. Do not engage in sexual misconduct
4. Do not lie
5. Do not drink alcohol (until you get drunk)
(simplified from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Precepts)
What the contractor and the City Hall official have done probably could be called breaking the rule#4 Do not lie.
Practicing the 5 simple rules daily goes hand in hand with practicing self awareness. When you have awareness of what you are doing, your conscience will tell you the differences between right and wrong contributing to the Five Precepts you are being trained daily.
With this, now, imagine you were a parent of an ordinary guy. He might not be rich but he had always been a good guy being trusted by everyone. No record of taking bribe, giving false statements, or any kind of misconduct. He had a happy family. He loved you and always supported you. You knew he always followed the 5 rules and he tried to have his conscience to guide him what was right and what was wrong.
Now, do you know the answer to the question "Have you ever wonder what is the best gift from you to your parents?" ? The monk actually asked me during the temple visit.
"Being a good person.", simple as it sounds but that is the answer, right?
Well, today I am not going to answer why. I am going to tell you another thing I learned at my last visit to the temple.
Have you ever wonder what is the best gift from you to your parents?
Recently, there was a big news about Atlanta City Hall bribery scandal. Imagine you were the parent of the contractor who bribed your clients to win the contract. You knew your kid had been such a darling to all family members, had been a successful business man, paid for your house, and had a great family of his own. But once you discovered what he had done behind everyone's back, how would you feel?
Now imagine you were the parent of the City Hall official accepting the bribe. You knew your kid had been such a darling to all family members, had been a successful government official, paid for your house, and had a great family of his own. But once you discovered what he had done behind everyone's back, how would you feel?
Here are 5 simple daily training rules Buddhists call the Five Precepts that we all can practice to become a better person.
1, Do not kill
2. Do not steal
3. Do not engage in sexual misconduct
4. Do not lie
5. Do not drink alcohol (until you get drunk)
(simplified from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Precepts)
What the contractor and the City Hall official have done probably could be called breaking the rule#4 Do not lie.
Practicing the 5 simple rules daily goes hand in hand with practicing self awareness. When you have awareness of what you are doing, your conscience will tell you the differences between right and wrong contributing to the Five Precepts you are being trained daily.
With this, now, imagine you were a parent of an ordinary guy. He might not be rich but he had always been a good guy being trusted by everyone. No record of taking bribe, giving false statements, or any kind of misconduct. He had a happy family. He loved you and always supported you. You knew he always followed the 5 rules and he tried to have his conscience to guide him what was right and what was wrong.
Now, do you know the answer to the question "Have you ever wonder what is the best gift from you to your parents?" ? The monk actually asked me during the temple visit.
"Being a good person.", simple as it sounds but that is the answer, right?
Tuesday, February 7, 2017
Mindfulness, you really helps me
Conscience, you really helps me.
Last year, during a short discussion at work, a colleague did not try to understand my points step by step. Just in the middle of the discussion, he said something like "This is wasting my time.", not just once but many times. Then, I burst out "If this is wasting your time. It is wasting my time too." blah blah After that, I tried to calm down and realized I should have been in control more. The discussion was over soon after that and I gave my colleague a sorry hug. I asked him never ever again say "this is wasting my time." as any discussion is meant to find a solution, so, it does not waste anyone's time. He also said sorry to me and we discussed how we should do better next time.
Since then, I have been trying to find the way to control myself not to burst out like that again.
Finally, the trip to Wat Phramahajanaka gave me the answer. Mindfulness.
I started to practice being mindful or being aware of what I am doing all day. It is not easy as sometimes the awareness is not always with me. At night I also started to pray and meditate. Close my eyes, clear up my mind, observe my breath, in and out,... Just 5 minutes of meditation. Together with day time and night time practice, it really helps me to become a better person.
At a short discussion at work this week, the same colleague disagreed (again) with my approach which everyone thought should be right. This time, I could calm down and offer a different approach that worked out for everyone including him. My conscience told me "No Anger. No Burst Out. Calm Down. Find Solution."
Sunday, February 5, 2017
Having self-awareness
I went to Wat Phramahajanaka over Griffin, Georgia today. I had a chance to chant and meditate for about 2 hours plus listened to dharma taught by a monk there which I had not done so for quite a while already.
The monk taught me to always be conscious or have self-awareness in every moment of my daily activities starting from waking up in the morning, using bathroom, brushing teeth, having breakfast, and so on until the moment when I go to bed again at night. Now that I am typing in my first blog, I am also trying to have my conscience to tell me that my fingers are typing right now. He said it requires practice to always have conscience to guide my daily activities but once becoming habit, I should be able to calm down in any kind of situation. Then, wisdom and intelligence will arise and guide me to the rightness of my behavior.
That was the core lesson I have learned at Wat Phramahajanaka today. But would that be all? No, more to come soon.
Good Night for today!
Middle Path seeker
The monk taught me to always be conscious or have self-awareness in every moment of my daily activities starting from waking up in the morning, using bathroom, brushing teeth, having breakfast, and so on until the moment when I go to bed again at night. Now that I am typing in my first blog, I am also trying to have my conscience to tell me that my fingers are typing right now. He said it requires practice to always have conscience to guide my daily activities but once becoming habit, I should be able to calm down in any kind of situation. Then, wisdom and intelligence will arise and guide me to the rightness of my behavior.
That was the core lesson I have learned at Wat Phramahajanaka today. But would that be all? No, more to come soon.
Good Night for today!
Middle Path seeker
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